Insecurities // Should friends be ranked?

Hey ;) 

This question has been in my mind for quite a while now, and really, should we rank our friends?

OK LA I ADMIT OK I was really hesitant about posting this cause I'll cfm get judged but wtv it's all in the past and like this was partly a drafted post which stayed as a draft for A HECK LONG HAHA. 

It can be just for fun/as a joke, which I really don't mind at all, but you'll never know who minds it, or even take it seriously. I've already been through being insecure about myself, feeling like I'm not very close to anyone, maybe like friends on the surface but not truly as friends close to my heart.(ok v confusing but it's true) It haunted me for years, and I was desperately trying to be accepted in any group that I truly feel close to. But maybe cause it was a desperate AND futile attempt, I found it hard to keep up with my personality, to try and fit in with the groups I've been hanging out with. 

Soon I realised that I wasn't being sincere anymore, to anyone and myself, and I hated myself for that. And I wasn't even being who I truly am. But after listening to HTHTs and understanding more about people, I realized that even the best people have their problems. It's just that they don't show it. And I wouldn't have known if they didn't tell me, no matter how observant I am???

Which is why everything is just in our minds. Learning to be comfortable in my own skin, and being myself felt so relieving. Any insecurity I feel, as long as I believe that I am not insecure, helped me through everything, making me really really open about myself and telling people how I truly feel. Ok la, maybe I can get a bit bitchy when ranting about stuff but at least I will tell the person I'm ranting about that I'm bitching about them. Which is really quite funny but it makes you true. There'll definitely be times when you will be angry with your friends, even your closest friends, but that's what makes your friendship even stronger ;)

You can be jealous of your friends, but ultimately, we are all different and they may be jealous of you too, but it makes you a stronger individual. People can judge me and I can also judge people, but in the end we will just forget about it a few years down the road and look back and laugh at all the stupid things we've done. Oh anyway I am no saint so I can be mean but everyone knows that so 💁

I'm so glad I've been through that stage even though it was a conscious effort. When people know me they have a choice whether they want to be close to me, and I won't have to handle that much fake friendship ;) And I really treasure all the friends I've made throughout my life for making me who I am and guiding me along <3 and doing all the stupid shit which I feel so so so comfortable in.

So no, I will never ever rank my friends. You all are equally important, so even if I've been asked to rank my friends, my ans would never be definite ;)))

VOLLEYBALLERS! really missed them alot :')

MR12 <3 been so longggggg

MR 12 <3 (those left after dinner)

This is my soulMAID <3

SWINGGGGG

really really love this photo cause we all look so happy <3
missing nhu and ali again :'(

Luv, Olliee

March's song of the month: The Nights by Avicii

One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life, you will, remember   

 -The Nights by Avicii

I should totally make a song of the month post HAHAHA since I never have any fixed song I like, plus they all reflect what I'm actually feeling ;)

LINK TO MV HERE

For the past month in March, I was actually unemployed and there were times when I stayed at home for the whole day being lazy and not doing much stuff which really bored me and made me really sad :( Especially when it was the month of uni applications which made everything much more stressful and important. And I have always been very uncertain of my life.

I have been having this song on replay for the past few weeks ever since I heard this song. Not only is the tune REALLY GOOD, the lyrics totally reflects what I wanna do with my life. Actually, the MV was the one which got me hooked to the song.

I have always wanted to live my life in a really exciting way, similar to YOLO, but still a little different. I can only live once and I really really really wanna make it a fulfilling one, and do everything at least once. And sine I'm a really adventurous person, I love anything exciting!!! Ok maybe some people will think I'm wild, but I still do have my limits and morals to uphold ;))

The whole song JUST MAKES ME WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE THE BEST AS I CAN??? Esp at the start:

When face to face with all our fears, learned our lessons through the tears, made memories we knew would never fade

OMGGGGG I can totally relate to this song??????????? I swear this is the best song ever invented!!!!!

Actually when I think about it, the whole song just explains my life goals. Although my parents may not support certain things I do, but being really independent helped me alot :) Whenever I hit rock bottom/have any problems, I would be able to learn from my mistakes and actually remember them for life.

HOW DID AVICII EVEN CREATE SUCH CRAZY LYRICS?!?!

My life is vvv chill now, really enjoying myself and going out with my friends and clearing my bucket list and having fun :)

Which made me really wonder, if I were to work in the future, would I do something monotonous and boring and not what I really want? I know I might not be able to have the perfect life I yearn for but would I lose sight of what I really wanna achieve? Would I live a life I won't want to remember?

My life is still really uncertain now since it's the period of waiting for uni acceptances. I am actually still very confused with my own choices. But no matter what, I hope my final choices would be able to allow me to do stuff I really want and not let me regret anything :))) And now I just need to collect all my happy moments to push me through any tough times <3

So for anyone else waiting for uni acceptances or vvv worried about the wait, I'm sure there's always a way for you to live the life you really want and don't lose hope ;)

;)

impromptu free B&J icecream x2 <3

KTV <3

random korean lunch 

Luv, Olliee

Reliving volleyball memories // Passion // Grateful :)

hey ;)

Well, I've FINALLY played volleyball with BBB during one of our juniors' trainings on Saturday (ISH!!!). And still v saddening to hear that ISH can only be used by volleyball on Saturdays, and only during seasons. Really, volleyball is an indoor sport and I definitely feel that playing in the ISH would improve the team's skills ALOT MORE. But school has their weird priorities which is just bullshit sometimes.

missing nhu :'(

ANYWAY, I really really realllllly miss volleyball, I just realised. I missed spiking and receiving and diving and blocking and basically EVERYTHING. :( Which made me really really happy when we played 5h straight. Like I didn't even want to rest!!! Just keep peppering on and on and on :) And I feel that BBB improved alot idek why LOL their receiving improved!! Proud of them hehe.

And our juniors also improved alot, at least most of them can serve over the net now, which is really great. Though their skills won't be enough to win the top 4, but I'm very very sure that as long as they try their best, they would do well in the tournament :)

Since we are J3s (still really weird being called J3s), the J4s and J5s came back to play and they were really good. Didn't get to play with them which was a real shame though, since we had to play with our juniors but ohwell!! There's still chance.

Personally, I really don't know what is 'passion'. Like how do you even know if you have it? I'm the kind of person who gets bored of stuff easily, so it's really hard for me to follow through something, but for volleyball it's just different. I've been playing this since Sec 1, and there were times which I really wanted to quit/stop playing, but I still stayed. And after not playing for so long, I actually miss volleyball :(

Is this passion? I really think that volleyball has brought me far, and brought be loads of joy and sadness and anger and disappointment, but the best thing was I met loads of lovely people through this. Like in Anderson, beach volleyballers, opens, BBB, Raffles, everywhere. It's a real blessing to be able to meet all of them and I'm still so so grateful <3

And Poh Poh brought me into volleyball in Sec 1 (actually I kinda forced myself in but it's another story HAHA) and under him, I really felt like I grew alot and my world changed. I realised I didn't have to please everyone I met, learnt to have my own opinion but still accepting others, learnt to be fierce but kind, be disciplined, and so on.

Really, it's the best thing that happened to me :')


So I guess this is what led to my passion for volleyball?? It's still so abstract but I just know I love volleyball, and it's irreplaceable. And hi guys if you are reading this I love you all kay <3 No matter if we quarrel or not, or hate each other or not, we are all still going strong!!! x)))

OHOH I totally recommend playing volleyball TEHEE!!! It's a vvvvvv fun sport!!!


I guess everyone has their own passion and glad I've found mine :) Maybe (actually) I have alot more but volleyball plays a HUGEEEE role I guess LOL.

Have a nice day <3


Luv, Olliee

Spontaneity // Mr Lee's Marriage

hey ;)

Just wanted to blog about this cause it's such a happy and lovely day <3

MR LEE IS MARRIED!!!

HAHAHA omg so happy for him CONGRATULATIONS!!! 

And Mrs Lee damn chio so yeap good taste!! ;)) HAHA but anyway, I was scrolling through Facebook being a slob at home and kinda found out he was getting married today, so I told BBB, and guess what. In 5-10 min we were out of the house. (ok maybe only those who were really free which was Es and Qing) HAHA. But initially we were still discussing if we should really go since it was quite far and all, and we only had an hour to reach the Registry of Marriage (ROM) building from our houses. And the truth is we were really leaning on the 'fake' side, like maybe not go, but somehow we just went ahead with it.

And this spontaneity was CRAZY. We actually ran abit in our dresses (in the rain) and got there on time!!! Wowz even on the MRT I was just like "omg are we really doing this HAHAH" But actually we were late by 4min, but they started 10min eariler, so we kinda missed the whole thing :(

AND WE EVEN NEARLY CRASHED THE WRONG ONE AHAHAHAHAH. Can't believe it LOL. But we were so so so so happy for him!!! <3 and they are a really cute couple!!

Well first time at ROM and it was so exciting, and seeing all the would-be couples becoming officially husband and wife was so cool!!! Like just by signing the papers, they are legally a married couple already :))

PLUS this year to celebrate SG50 the marriage certificate was also specially designed which is REALLY COOL AHAHAH.

Can't wait for Mr Lee's wedding dinner and we all have a reason to dress up (like what Qi said) and meet up and have fun together!! x)

Wowz, really think marriage is such a magical thing. Like you are so willing to spend the rest of your life with that one person you truly love, and love another person like how much you love yourself. AHHHH so cute I wanna see more marriages!!! And Mr Lee please invite us to your wedding dinner!! ;))) (if you have lol) And hope you enjoyed the surprise!

Last thing. I really love spontaneity it's really really fun and exciting and heart racing and wowz, just everything TEHEE glad it's still part of my life and that BBB still meets up randomly <3 

(Had dinner with Ali too!! <3)

Luv, Olliee

CNY 2015 // BAINIAN<3

hey ;)

OHNO it's been more than a week since I've posted anything!! But visiting people's more important so please let it slide ;)) Especially CNY!! Basically for this post I'll be collating my visiting sprees since 初一 till now (which is like... 初八).

Anyway, I have decided to ditch being healthy during this period and enjoy all the good food to the fullest! Afterall, CNY doesn't come everyday ;)

My days have been splendid thus far with all the lovely people in my life <3

*BEWARE OF SUPER LONG POST*

初一

Usually families would gather at one of their relative's house quite early in the day, some 7am, some before 12noon. But for my family, we meet after 2pm. HAHA. So most of us just slept in till really late, and just laze around at home all day till it's time for us to visit out relatives! :) And luckily my aunt's house is just a road (literally, just cross the road) away from my house, so we could sleep in till really late and we went there at around 3.30pm. LOL. And it's also so funny how everyone keeps asking me for my OOTD when I'm still in my pajammies!! x)

I actually realised that the clothes I bought weren't really suitable for the first day of CNY, which is a major problem since I really have nothing to wear this time and trying to piece an outfit together was really tough ._. Because you have to take into account so many different factors:

Comfortable enough to sit easily / Stretchable enough so that you can eat without fearing for tight clothes / Suitable for CNY / No black clothes (not that strict) / Glam enough

HAHA didn't get to take an #ootd since it was too late and I was actually lazy but guess these show quite abit! 

[caption id="attachment_1092" align="aligncenter" width="660"] Actually the headband thing is really cool HAHA[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1093" align="aligncenter" width="660"] matchy matchy booties with my couzzies <3[/caption]




And we played Dance Central at 10pm:



Actually during the afternoon we were amazed at this new toy which my cousin brought-- Instax share HAHA and we took alot of photos with it which was REALLY COOL!!!! Definitely going to buy this but its ~$200 :((



[caption id="attachment_1101" align="aligncenter" width="660"] SHOKEWT!![/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1102" align="aligncenter" width="660"] couzzie + his gf baking success[/caption]



[caption id="attachment_1103" align="aligncenter" width="660"] MY FIRST ROYCE CHOCOLATE!!![/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1105" align="aligncenter" width="660"] The salad was actually REALLY GOOD but clearly this isn't the only thing I ate (but looks healthy enough right!! ;)) )[/caption]





Went home at around 11 plus since I could just walk home HAHA But such a fun day catching up with everyone!!! <3

初二

Couzzies from mom's side came to my house!!! :))) Clearly they came quite late so in the morning I was just lazing around in bed again.

[caption id="attachment_1112" align="aligncenter" width="660"] TOTD cause I'm at home wearing FBTS ;)[/caption]



Had louhei with them which was SO FUN and we even had steamboat. I LOVE having people over at my house since I can be the host and be all crazy about it HAHAHA. 

[caption id="attachment_1114" align="aligncenter" width="660"] (+1)[/caption]

 Watched Maleficent and Big Hero 6 after, which was SO GOOD HAHA Maleficent is such a good movie and Baymax is just so cute!!! <3

初三

Finally a day where I can put my WHOLE DAY into good use. But this time I had to wake up at 630am to go to the temple LOL. Actually, truthfully, I'm not a fan of temples but I'm one who loves going out/tagging along especially if my cousins are going, so yes I will wake up for them. ;))

And I wanted to try curling my hair naturally so the night before I bun-ed up my hair and went to sleep with it. Well all the Pinterest pins say this is one way to get curls, so guess I'll try it!!!

WOW and my hair really curled up in the morning and initially I thought that it wouldn't last the whole day, BUT IT BECAME REALLY REALLY REALLY BEAUTIFUL WAVES <3 WA bhb but I really like sia!!

[caption id="attachment_1118" align="aligncenter" width="401"] hair goals??? ;)))))[/caption]

Anyway, spent the whole morning in the temple with the main highlight being TRYING TO HIT THE BELL USING COINS. HAHAHA it's said that if you hit the bell 3 times consecutively, your wish would be granted. But my max was only 2 :(( BUT QUITE FUNNY, since my dad brought a small bag of 5 cent coins and we threw to our hearts content ;)



After that, I had to visit pohpoh's house with the Bgirls, so we left after lunch while my cousins went to another temple (omg intense).

Guess the last time I went pohpoh's house was what, 4/5 years ago? It's been so long!!! Had a great catchup session with everyone and I kinda missed his long and boring speeches (but very informative and funny and useful!!!) And all his ranting about some celebrity and society is really interesting. Even though he kept scolding us 笨女人 for taking photos, we're quite sure he was REALLY HAPPY to see us AND take photos with us x)) HAHA And we finished his seaweed cracker/chips or something and the mushroom goodies were DAMN good!

[caption id="attachment_1128" align="aligncenter" width="660"] Mrs Lim's green bean soup!!![/caption]





[caption id="attachment_1124" align="aligncenter" width="660"] Actually this is my favourite polaroid of us but it's for POHPOH!![/caption]



Split up with Denise and Cally after since they needed to go their teammate's house to bainian, so we went to Sushi express in Nex for dinner. IMIO, Sushi express's variety sux, but well, for cheap sashimi I guess???







Debated whether to get creampuff from Sushi express but went for something better: Beard Papa's <3



[caption id="attachment_1126" align="aligncenter" width="660"] rooftop![/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1115" align="aligncenter" width="660"] can see my ootd la hor everything under $20 btw ;))[/caption]

Another super fun day with people I missed and still love <3

初四

Met up with Es to go Qing's house in the morning since we have a BBB dinner together, and everyone else's working :( Bus ride from my house to Pasir Ris interchange was only 15min, and I even rushed out of the house since I thought I was late HAHAH. Went for Macs brekkie before going Qing's house to nua! Even brought my wave board along which was SHIT HEAVY SERIOUSLY but at least it's being used after collecting dust for a few years HAHA.









Lazed around and watched The Sorcerer's Apprentice before going back to my house to nua. At least I got to dump the wave board at home before going Ali's house!! :)) And I saw Qing's bro HAHA another JingWei!! They look so alike omg.



Nua-ed at my house again for another hour plus and talked random stuff and got made to wear my maxi dress which I wore only once HAHA. Never thought that I'd wear it again?! Es was wearing a cheong sam and Qing was wearing her floral romper so I got made to wear that dress ._. Ohwell!!! It's CNY doesn't matter!

Headed to House of Seafood at Kovan to collect our cheap louhei with sashimi bought from Groupon for only $9.90! Luckily we checked, as they forgot to give us our sashimi.



Journey to Ali's house was MAD. Travelling time took >1h which was crazy. But at least we weren't travelling alone so it was still fun ;))

And you can actually differentiate who worked and who didn't by our attire AHAHAHA The chios and The lapsups. (kidding all of you are chio <3)

ALI'S DOG WAS ALSO DAMN CUTE I CAN'T EVEN AHHHHH <3 <3 <3

[caption id="attachment_1130" align="aligncenter" width="660"] Humphry!!!! <3 (actually IDK how to spell his name hahah)[/caption]

Louhei-ed before having steamboat, and so so so grateful for Ali to let us go her house and her mom for preparing all these stuff for us!!! It was a REAL spread and actually I thought we couldn't finish HAHA. Since usually the food at steamboats won't finish, but, POWER 6 AND WE ALL FINISHED. Dong was the lousy one who crashed first though HAHAHAHA. <3

[caption id="attachment_1146" align="aligncenter" width="660"] FOOOOOD[/caption]



[caption id="attachment_1155" align="aligncenter" width="660"] Domestic Qing with her handmade ngor heong!! (it was DAMN GOOD btw please make more next time!!! <3)[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1133" align="aligncenter" width="660"] when food was still in abundance[/caption]



We also had a mini karaoke session featuring Ed Sheeran's songs, oldies, and TAYLORSWIFT! All the out of tune voices were really hilarious and it's actually more fun than having all the voices in tune LOL.

[caption id="attachment_1153" align="aligncenter" width="660"] <3[/caption]

AND WHEN WE HAVE FINISHED:

[caption id="attachment_1143" align="aligncenter" width="660"] finished our food!!!![/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1140" align="aligncenter" width="660"] ALI FOREVER DAMN GLAM SIA[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1147" align="aligncenter" width="660"] Yay there's also dessert from Ali's mom too!! <3 THANKIESSS[/caption]







[caption id="attachment_1151" align="aligncenter" width="660"] YAY chio dressing unite[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1141" align="aligncenter" width="660"] can't get a clear shot :'([/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1145" align="aligncenter" width="660"] forever taking so long to think of poses for polaroids HAHA[/caption]

          
    

 SUPER FUN/MAD TIMES WITH THEM OMG <3 can't believe we are still going strong together <3 and louhei has became our yearly tradition ^^

初七

Didn't do any visiting but Es and Nun came to my house! :))) It was such a last minute thing HAHA Es just asked if they could come over in the morning and I'm just like YA COME COME HAHA then we spent the afternoon in my room stalking people and talking about random stuff and watched How to train your dragon 2!! ;))) YAY AT LEAST THEY CAME BY MY HOUSE TO NUA <3



So this is how my CNY has been spent so far, AND IT WAS FUN. It hasn't ended so time to visit more people!! ;))) Enjoy your CNY and hope you also had a blast! :)

Luv, Olliee