Musings // Hitting the big 2

hello! :-))

I'm quite sure this post is long overdue but it's alright man because better late than never right?

This is another post for everyone, who've been supporting me all these while, throughout all these months/years when I'm at my lowest (probably), and when I am not the best person to be with (sometimes).

disclaimer: fucking cheesy I think so if u can't stand it plz dun read k :-)

This sem hasn't been really easy, with so much stuff going on about camps at the start (and maybe even now). But I'm really glad that it has finally concluded and all, after > 4 weeks of investigations. It has really affected my mood towards many things, regardless of whether I choose to believe it or not. I knew that the loss of a loved one wouldn't be easy, but I thought I would get over it quickly, but that is also not true.

<3

NEVERTHELESS,

I know my friends and family are still supporting me :-)

And during my birthday, they celebrated for me. Although it was a mini celebration, I was rly touched by it cause it was the start of mid-terms week and all and I was rly glad they remembered :') That week I met up with many whom I hold dear to, even though it was only for a meal, it was really great catching up with everyone. Tbh, I'm rly rly rly grateful to everyone who celebrated my birthday cause I don't really celebrate much LOL.

got this from ass ya!! :-)

hello noob

ex-tablemates ya!!!

janeywaney

bbb

MOVING ON, I received the email from STEERnus, and I. AM. GOING. COSTA. RICAAAAA. I literally felt like oct is a new month new me kinda month, and I actually already expected a rejection email from them. BUT guess what I DIDN'T!! I have been eyeing this trip since last year??? And I actually got to go??? Once I got the email I was so excited I started to spam wendz and even went to the gym to run to burn off the extra energy HAHA. On the other hand I was rly sad I won't be able to make it for my Bintan trip with Janey Waney and ZoukOut SOBZ :-( sorry guys I burden :-(( I will make it up to u ya!! (@janeywaney) LOL.

Alrighty, then on wed (5/10) there was TGIWagon organised by Zouk, and everyone came to my room to predrink before. But guess what again??? They gave me a GOPRO????? I have been eyeing this since FOREVER since I've realised that Hero5 was coming out and I was so so so ready to buy it once it was out on 2nd Oct but whhhuuuuuttttt???? HOLY SHIT. Like. I'm quite sure I looked rly stunned and I didn't cry but that because the shock >>>>>> happiness. HAHAH. I literally just stun there man. HUUUUHHH???? As in, rn I'm still in shock but when I got it it was so OVERWHELMING. In my head was just 'omg rly rly rly is this real is this not a dream is this a gopro is this a toy is this fake is this not real is this really a present'. My thoughts were just jumbled up everywhere at that moment. And I was fucking speechless. I rly rly never expected anyone to do this for me?????? huuUUUuuuuuhHhhHHHH. THANKS GUYSSSS :'))))))))))))))))) (dayum shld have taken a photo inside the room SOBZ)

Say hello to mah NEW BABY

The number of chins I put for my smiley face above just can't describe how grateful I am. I am so so so so so thankful for everyone who contributed to this cause I know this is fucking expensive. I WILL TAKE CARE OF IT YA AND TAKE RLY NICE VIDS!!!!! :-))))))) And I know it's rly been hard for yall Bali gang for coordinating all of this so thank u!!!!!!! I like how yall called it lizard fund so gross tho.

:-))

THX GUYS :-)))))))

I tried my best to hav a photo from T house peeps as much as possible :-))) <3

And Finneon ya!!! :-)))) thx guys :-)

And dong hahahah gud job not messing this surprise cause I legitly thought that it was gonna be a wallet LOL. What wld I do wo yall manz T.T

wad wld i do wo u <3 (oh and twinning outfits ya)

On Thurs although everyone was shag as hell we still went for HHN6 @ USS which was A M A Z E B A L L Z. Altho there was a hiccup during entrance I'M SO GLAD WE CONQUERED IT (altho I literally panicked) but all's well!!! The queue for all the haunted houses were so short (around 30-40min) we finished all 5 by 10.30pm. Which was really early, since we got to watch the HHN performance and even got to take the rides at USS. I got to video it using my gopro but it was rly dark so the footage was rly grainy and dark sobz :-(( But here's the vid tho! :-)

It was rly rly rly amazing so highly recommend ya!!! Compared to last year where I went on a popular + one of the later days so it was rly packed and we cld only go for 2-3 haunted houses and the queues were arnd 1h++ :-((( But this year there wasn't as many scare zones but it's ok!!!! Highly recommend the clowns one (Bodies of Work) and Old Changi Hospital!!! rly rly vvvv scary HAHAHA but after that I just laughed hahaha.

You can see more of my experience in HHN6 here:-)

HHN6!!!

Anyway, it's really funny how life works sometimes??? It's really full of ups and downs like a fucking rollercoaster but only with the bad parts it rly makes you cherish the good parts more. Life can be a fucking dickhead and for months felt like there's a black cloud over my head but it's really starting to clear (studies aside HAHA). Being at rock bottom is really rock bottom but when you are slowly moving up again every single thing you will rly cherish with the bottom of your heart and that's what I may have been lacking for taking many things for granted???

There are really many ways to deal with rejection and disappointments but how you perceive it actually affects how you face it. Either way, in the future, you'll prolly look back and be like 'ya I've been through it and it's over' and that feeling is THE BEST.


BUT BACK ON TOPIC YA.

Thank you for being there for me :-))) fucking cheesy and fucking gross but still nid to b said yaaaa.

Luv, Tingz

Arts Camp 2015 22 June - 26 June

hey ;)

Wow I'm finally writing about my 3rd camp in June LOL. Everyone says I'm siao alr joining so many camps, but actually, this is technically the first camp I signed up ;) During Arts Open House (which Dong dragged me and Ali along), signups for Arts Camp was open only on that day, and at that point I was still deciding whether to accept NUS FASS or NTU Biz. But really, I think in the spur of the moment, and cause we wanted to join the camp together, I just accepted NUS on the spot LOL. I imagined myself accepting the offer in a less spontaneous way but \-_-/ HAHA. And it was 85 bux, which at that point I was broke, both in cash and Nets HAHHA. DAMN NOOB. So I had to borrow money from Ali >_<

CRy seriously where did my priorities go??

OK actually I regretted abit after joining cause it was just too spontaneous and all, and I wasn't even sure if I wanted NUS or NTU, but since I've alr paid for it, why not just enjoy it right?? And it so happens, IT WAS DAMN FUN!!! <3 Like legitly damn fun ^^

Initially I was a little bummed that my group is considered 'chill' and all, and I wanted a more 'fun' group. But 'chill' and 'fun' is not mutually exclusive in T5 ;) Really really really glad to have been in T5 with everyone else cause there's damn fun shit going on in there, plus alot of yandao and chiobus!!!!! ;)

HAHA.

We had MTF (meet the freshies) session, and cause I was still v nua on that day I didn't really bother talking to everyone, but it was really nice to meet up with all your other og mates before the camp to bond a little bit and try and remember everyone's names LOL.

BUT ANYWAY,

Day 1:
I OVERSLEPT HAHA. Had sleepover with Sherlocks at Zhewei's house and WTF we woke up late and travelling all the way to NUS was a hassle so in the end we were around 2h late lol. Meeting time was at 9am and we reached at around 11 plus. Skipped abit of intro at the start but ohwell!! Then they started playing mass games omg. LOL. Was supposed to paired up wif my partner Bernard but since OGLS had to play both of us were attached to the OGLS instead!! HAHA T house legit chill no kidding. Like, we just stood there and just try not to let our tags get ripped off, but anw we were the first to lose HAHAHAHAHAH. It was actually quite funny lol. And it's just a game so no one really cared. As long as we had fun ^^

Had station games for during the day and SP games at night. For those who dk, SP means secret partner. So basically you have to be paired with another person of the opposite gender from another OG and just talk for 1-2h per session. WHICH IS DAMN LONG HELLO. BUT wtv HAHA.

Felt q bad trolling my SP but it's really hilarious cause the seniors/OGLS keep coming to disturb and I'm just like omg I should stop lying but clearly I have to keep up my story LOL.

Basically I lied saying:
-I was gay
-I was 21=cause I retained in Sec 2 and took a gap year to visit my bf who was studying Medicine in London and then we broke up and realised I was gay
-I had major pimple breakout on my left cheek
-I was 155cm

LOLLLLLL. OK doesn't sound alot but when I typed it out it's actually alot?? And actually my story had alot of loopholes but wtv hehe.

Had Fright Night after but since we were in T5, we were one of the last few groups to leave the waiting area. So we just did our first HTHT together in AS7 with supper by the seniors from Amaans HAHA. But the food was really good though ^^

'Spiritual Journey' was quite scary at the start, when it was in the toilet, but generally, it was quite ok for us. AND it was hilarious that one of our councillors Esther was a ghost and her distinct hairstyle made us recognise her immediately and we all starting laughing HHAHAHAHAA. But good try!!!

Then by the time we bathed and shit it was alr 3+am, and most of us were tired alr so we just went to sleep :P Means, END OF DAY 1!!


Day 2:
WET AND DIRTY GAMES

one of the better breakfasts LOL

HAHA all the games were really damn fun ;))) But its mostly wet and soapy (aka clean) HAHA but really really enjoyed everything! Had SP at night also and I just revealed that I trolled him the last night la basically lol.

-Add caption-

Played running man after and became the chaser with Bernard! HAHAAH DAMN FUN OMG. But really really tiring sia. And like got alot of dirty tricks etc but oh well forgot about everything alr! Then we had this final round with balloons and like we just lost immediately cause we didn't even know it started LOL HAHA wtv la good exercise though LOL.

Bathed and chilled with everyone and HTHT which is my favourite part of the camp ^^

Carina!

Saw Tian Wei!

Day 3:
BEACH DAY!!!

T5 <3

YAY my favourite!!! I think it's really cause I love the beach alot so beach days are my favourites :)

COCONUT ICE CREAM

Had a major waterbomb fight which was INSANE. <3

Pulled tug-of-war for T house which was damn damn damn tiring and my hands couldn't move also LOL and my feet cramped hahahha. But during tug-of-war, everyone's cheers really made you push on cause you were doing it for the house, and like, made me hold on even more. Really didn't know how cheering for someone could make someone hold on.

ALI <3

Day 4:
Inter OG games
HAHA basically we had to split into different groups with other house people and form new groups! We all went to west coast to play all the weird games HAHA. And our SP was also inside so we could kinda guess who was our SP but I couldn't cause the guys were being a dick AHAHAHA.

Yi Xuan!!

horrible breakfast

Had revelation for SP games after, and then social night at Zouk!

Schane!

SOOooooOo YeeEEee

KAILIN!

Day 5:
Everyone was basically just shagged so we had sponsor talks which we all just slept through HAHAHA.

Camwhore session!

HAHA actually I drew on everyone's elbow the smiley face hehe

Had War games after while everyone was DAMN SHAG but it was really fun cause it's all water bombs!!!! ^^ And we enjoyed attacking people instead of attaching the papers LOL

cui sunblock skills

Then after we continued to nua abit more before going off for dinner at Amaans, and I really felt so sad that camp has ended :( I really enjoyed myself so much!! CRY But will defo meet up with all of them!

HAHAA

Thanks for the memories <3

x

Life updates :)

hey! It's been vvvvv long since I've updated my blog, around 1 1/2 months? LOL really sorry! But well in May I worked like crazy for the whole month, nearly everyday and having no life at all. And I rarely met my friends.

DON'T EVER DO THAT HAHA. You'll legit go crazy!!! But I earned quite alot of money in that month but I alr quit one of my jobs cause....

But anyway, June is camp season, aka my FAVOURITE season <3 Signed up for q a few camps to play and have fun and everyone thought I was crazy signing up for so many. (actually I think it's because I didn't have a life in May that's why I went siao and signed up for everything lol.)

Guess I'll be splitting up my posts and sharing my camp experiences!! ;)

Luv, Olliee

Insecurities // Should friends be ranked?

Hey ;) 

This question has been in my mind for quite a while now, and really, should we rank our friends?

OK LA I ADMIT OK I was really hesitant about posting this cause I'll cfm get judged but wtv it's all in the past and like this was partly a drafted post which stayed as a draft for A HECK LONG HAHA. 

It can be just for fun/as a joke, which I really don't mind at all, but you'll never know who minds it, or even take it seriously. I've already been through being insecure about myself, feeling like I'm not very close to anyone, maybe like friends on the surface but not truly as friends close to my heart.(ok v confusing but it's true) It haunted me for years, and I was desperately trying to be accepted in any group that I truly feel close to. But maybe cause it was a desperate AND futile attempt, I found it hard to keep up with my personality, to try and fit in with the groups I've been hanging out with. 

Soon I realised that I wasn't being sincere anymore, to anyone and myself, and I hated myself for that. And I wasn't even being who I truly am. But after listening to HTHTs and understanding more about people, I realized that even the best people have their problems. It's just that they don't show it. And I wouldn't have known if they didn't tell me, no matter how observant I am???

Which is why everything is just in our minds. Learning to be comfortable in my own skin, and being myself felt so relieving. Any insecurity I feel, as long as I believe that I am not insecure, helped me through everything, making me really really open about myself and telling people how I truly feel. Ok la, maybe I can get a bit bitchy when ranting about stuff but at least I will tell the person I'm ranting about that I'm bitching about them. Which is really quite funny but it makes you true. There'll definitely be times when you will be angry with your friends, even your closest friends, but that's what makes your friendship even stronger ;)

You can be jealous of your friends, but ultimately, we are all different and they may be jealous of you too, but it makes you a stronger individual. People can judge me and I can also judge people, but in the end we will just forget about it a few years down the road and look back and laugh at all the stupid things we've done. Oh anyway I am no saint so I can be mean but everyone knows that so 💁

I'm so glad I've been through that stage even though it was a conscious effort. When people know me they have a choice whether they want to be close to me, and I won't have to handle that much fake friendship ;) And I really treasure all the friends I've made throughout my life for making me who I am and guiding me along <3 and doing all the stupid shit which I feel so so so comfortable in.

So no, I will never ever rank my friends. You all are equally important, so even if I've been asked to rank my friends, my ans would never be definite ;)))

VOLLEYBALLERS! really missed them alot :')

MR12 <3 been so longggggg

MR 12 <3 (those left after dinner)

This is my soulMAID <3

SWINGGGGG

really really love this photo cause we all look so happy <3
missing nhu and ali again :'(

Luv, Olliee